K-LINE KOLLISION MAP
SUBMIT
THE K-LINE MAP
SIDES
BOOTS ON THE GROUND
In December 2023, we lost a friend.
They’re not dead.
We just don’t know where they are.
But what we found were their notes.
A three-drawer filing cabinet full of notes.
Some of these notes formed the basis of
THE MANUAL: HOW TO MAKE A LEYLINE THE EASY WAY.
The rest will be a lifetime of work to decipher.
Today we begin that work.
Today we follow the signs.
Today we cross the streams.
Today we walk THE K-LINE.
THE MIDDLE
A Ninety-Nine Second Play
The characters in this play consist of four KONES:
The KONE of The North
The KONE of The South
The KONE of The West
The KONE of The East
The KONE of The North-West and The KONE of The South-East are conspicuous by their absence.
The aforementioned KONES are having a catch up on Skype.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
I miss you guys. We should do something.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Did you see what The KONE of The North-West and The KONE of The South-East got up to last summer?
KONE OF THE EAST:
A bit much, I thought.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
A bit too on the nose, I thought.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
The KONE HANDLERS enjoyed it though.
KONE OF THE EAST:
They did.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
A bit too provincial though.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
A bit London-centric.
KONE OF THE EAST:
A bit Mersey-centric.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Time for a change.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
I think it should be in the West. The West is the best.
KONE OF THE EAST:
I think it should be in the East. A feast in the East.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Well, obviously, the North is good for me.
But how about a compromise?
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
You mean…the Middle?
KONE OF THE EAST:
The Middle? Nothing EVER happens in the Middle.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Maybe it should…
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Somewhere accessible to the West then.
KONE OF THE EAST:
But equally accessible to the East though.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Close to the mighty M6, the spine of this island.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
What do we need?
KONE OF THE EAST:
Space.
We need space.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
A KLEARING.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
I know just the place.
KONE OF THE EAST:
Is it where I’m thinking?
KONE OF THE NORTH:
If you’re thinking what I’m thinking…
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Motion carried.
KONE OF THE EAST:
When?
KONE OF THE NORTH:
The KONE HANDLERS will need NOTICE.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
28 days.
KONE OF THE EAST:
Ample.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
There will have to entry requirements then.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
No riff-raff.
KONE OF THE EAST:
I like the riff-raff.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Nothing fancy. A KONE, of course.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Stuff made out of twigs?
KONE OF THE EAST:
I like it.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Offerings to THE KLEARING.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Leave no trace.
KONE OF THE EAST:
Apart from the offerings.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Of course. We’ll probably need an incentive.
KONE OF THE SOUTH: Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Something to for the KONE HANDLERS take away.
KONE OF THE EAST:
No such thing as a free ride.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
I’ll sort that. Limited though. First come best served.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Looking forward to it.
KONE OF THE EAST:
Boots on the ground.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
We’ll need a NOTICE.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Make it KRYPTIC AF.
KONE OF THE EAST:
But don’t KONFUSE anyone.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
I know just the thing. A few dozen is all we need.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Great meeting.
KONE OF THE EAST:
Very productive.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
We should do this more often.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE WEST:
Bye then. [logs off]
KONE OF THE EAST:
Bye everyone. [logs off]
KONE OF THE NORTH:
I thought that couldn’t have gone any better.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
Westie and Eastie won’t know what’s hit them.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
KONE OF THE NORTH:
It’s all KONING together nicely. Sorry, that was a shit pun.
KONE OF THE SOUTH:
Agreed.
FINALLY
THE DAYS ARE GETTING LONGER
THE NIGHTS ARE GETTING WARMER
BOOTS WILL SOON BE BACK ON THE GROUND
TO WHET YOUR APPETITE, A NEW FIELD REPORT
HAS LANDED ON OUR WICKER DOORMAT
THE K-LINE UNDERFOOT
A NEW BLUE PLAQUE MAY BE THERE TO BE FOUND
THE 100 PLACES ARE FILLING UP
NO TICKETS PURE GPS
IN WITH THE LINE CROWD
KOMMUNITY IS EVERYTHING
PAUSE FOR THOUGHT
THE LONGEST NIGHT HAS PASSED.
STONEHENGE HAS RECEIVED IT’S AWARD.
THE MANUAL HAS HIT THE GYM AND IS
READY FOR YOUR GLOVEBOX IN 2025.
RADIO K-KLFRS HAS BECOME SELF-AWARE AND IS
SEARCHING FOR THE LAUNCH KODES.
THE K-LINE KOLLISION MAP IS FIFTY STRONG
AND QUITE A THING TO BEHOLD.
THE YEAR OF THE BLACK ‘N’ RED IS OVER.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN WILL RIDE AGAIN.
THE KLFRS WILL RETURN IN 2025.
UNTIL THEN IT'S 23AM ETERNAL.
GO WELL SOCIETY.
GO WELL.
NORTH-WEST
PASSAGE
TIME flies.
Once again,
SURROGATES are in place.
KONDUCTORS have their marching orders.
THE MANUAL is ready to go.
THE SKOOL OF
THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW
is waiting.
BROTHERS & SISTERS,
The ADELPHI is yours.
See you on THE OTHER SIDE.
THE KLFRS
ON THE RADIO,
STEEL GUITAR
IN OUR SOUL
THE STRAIGHT AND
THE NARROW
So I was walking down the street the other day,
you know, by the place by the thing,
and in an empty shop window I saw a sign that said
EARLY ADOPTER APPLY NOW.
So I applied and it gave me a whole new direction.
All that was required was 23 seconds of my time.
Meanwhile, if you can lay your hands on
12 traffic cones and a jigsaw,
ROCKMAN ROCK has a project for you.
THE MANUAL is all but kompletly pre-ordered.
If any copies remain they can be claimed here.
200 pages of illuminated instruction.
Second edition would be konsiderably smaller.
Answers to every question,
just not neccessarily in the right order.
SOUNDING THE K-LINE
Get in line now, get in line now
Stay in time with the rhythm and rhyme
Get around town, get around town
Where the people look good, where the music is loud
Get around town, no need to stand proud
Add your voice to the sound of the crowd
THE K-LINE has been K-WALKED.
The Old Straight Track has been unearthed and charged.
The SOUNDING OF THE K-LINE is step two of a
twelve-step and 300 year plan.
The SOUNDING OF THE K-LINE across the River Thames and the River Mersey are to be considered as a priority.
A SOUNDING occurs when a VOCAL TAG is passed along
THE K-LINE between two or more places.
Submissions require GPS coordinates from each location
along THE K-LINE. They will be added to THE MAP.
Participants may take up THE SOUNDING BATON
by starting at a previous SOUNDING location.
It has been suggested that an early morning sounding from TRANCENTRAL to BATTERSEA K-LINE POWER STATION would require a team of five SOUNDERS spaced 230 metres apart.
It is respectfully demanded that the streets of LIVERPOOL and BIRKENHEAD resonate with THE SOUNDING OF THE K-LINE on the weekend around November 23rd 2024.
THE K-LINE is the Official Energy Supplier to
The KLF 2323 World Tour.
More will be revealed in THE MANUAL, in all good bookshops
and Transit vans from 23/11.
SCHEDULED
WORKS
THE DOG DAYS ARE UPON US.
AUGUST
K-VISION IS LOOSE AT THE BANDCAMP
AND BALI IS HOSTING MUMULAND.
SEPTEMBER
THE K-WALKER CONTINUES TO EXPLORE
THE BEGINNINGS OF THE EKUATOR.
OCTOBER
CHILL OUT WITH KING BOY D
NOVEMBER
THE MANUAL COMING ALONG NICELY.
DECEMBER
THE KRISTMAS KAROL KONCERT HAS FOUND
THE PERFECT VILLAGE HALL.
2025
THE ELEKTIONS
MEANWHILE…
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
have jemmied open the filling cabinet
and are currently pouring through
THE ARKVIVE
MEANWHILE…
THE K-WALKER has turned his attention to THE EKUATOR.
MEANWHILE…
KLFRS-BALI prepares itself to welcome the world on August 23rd.
The evolution will be merchandised.
MEANWHILE…
THE KLMB continues to whistle ALL ON THE LINE around the office.
POWER ON
An Old Straight Track for those that would rather Jack.
The Re-Ignition of THE K-LINE has begun.
Hollow way to a hallowed way
Followed way to a motorway.
Borrowed way to a tomorrow way.
A Roman/no man road like no other.
THE K-LINE is now accepting coach parties and Blue Peter badges.
THE K-LINE IS THE OFFICIAL ENERGY SUPPLIER
TO THE 2323 WORLD TOUR.
THERE NOW FOLLOWS,
A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSORS,
THE KLMB.
GATHER
THE K-LINE EXISTS.
OF THAT THERE IS NO DOUBT.
BUT A QUESTION REMAINS.
WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?
There are some who believe THE K-LINE to have originated far back, in the mists of time.
There are others that suggest it is a mass premonition, experienced by the gifted and the cursed, of the multi-socket extension cable powering THE 2323 WORLD TOUR.
And there are others still, who dismiss it as neo-historical weirdness.
Answers will be sought in the days following the Summer Solstice across the streets of Liverpool and London.
A meeting of minds 180 miles and 300 years apart.
Bring us your sturdy boots, your open hearts and minds, as we consider not just what THE K-LINE is, but what THE K-LINE could be.
Listen now, as the winds die down,
to the footsteps of THE K-WALKER.
He is coming and he wants answers.
THE K-LINE has no ends.
Only beginnings.
History is waiting.
The future is impatient.
Dissect the past.
Desecrate the future.
The choice is yours.
We are nothing without The Society.
Attendance is free.
Sign up is mandatory.
Marching orders pending.
THE EXCAVATION WILL BE MERCHANDISED
180 mile long sculptures
in space and time
don't unearth themselves.
Dress kodes are important.
Klick and kollect.
Meanwhile, THE K-WALKER walks THE LINE.
Join him, and other like minded sculpturers
in space and time, in Coventry on Saturday.
All the clubs have been closed down
but McDonalds is open and ready
for your order.
BIG MAC AND FRIES
BIG MAC AND FRIES
BIG MAC AND FRIES
BIG MAC AND FRIES
BIG MAC AND FIRES
The barn door has closed on
THE K-VISION SONG CONTEST.
All will be revealed on
23-06-24
TIME MARCHES ON
Spring has sprung.
The March Hare’s grip on reality is tenuous at best.
The Depository has wintered in a shipping container.
Kolin The Katerpillar has seen better days.
THE KLINIC is a pop-up katastrophe waiting to happen.
A 180 mile long sculpture in time & space is waiting to be unearthed.
The Time Of The Line is upon us.
Get up, get out, get involved.
Get your walking boots muddy and power the future.
ALL ON THE LINE is around the korner.
If you have something to offer, komplete a KONTRACT OF INTENT.
ON THE LINE
What the fuuk is going on?
Well actually, there’s a fuuk of a lot going on.
THE K-LINE is being tagged.
THE K-LINE is being traversed.
THE K-VISION SONG KONTEST has entrants.
THE K-VISION SONG KONTEST will en-trance.
Snippets have appeared on the usual platforms.
Members Of The Society are looking to kongregate
and we will amplify any requests for like-minded folk in your area.
Georgia, you are on our mind.
MAKE KONTACT and we will help you to MAKE KONTACT.
The Otherman
K-VISION
The steering committee of The K-LINE MARKETING BOARD (KLMB) have been in touch with a proposal. They need to promote their new enterprise and they have come cap in hand to The KLFRS.
They are looking for a song. Or two. Or twenty-three.
The lyrics are written and non-negotiable.
The acceptable bpm range is 120-130.
Track length range is 2m23s to 23m23s.
So here it is, The K-VISION SONG KONTEST.
Where everyone is a winner.
And null points for no one.
Deadline for submission is 23/04/24.
Submissions should be made through the usual channels.
Dropbox, WeTransfer, Karrier Krow, Whatever.
Submissions will be made available to the world from 23/06/24.
Lyrics
In the year 23AD
A Roman centurion by the name of Linea Insidiator
Stumbled across an Ancient spring
And discovered The K-Line…
Stockwell
Larkhall
The Beni…o
Down Jeffreys Road
To Batter…sea
Chelsea
Knightsbridge
The Serpentine
Kensington
Gardens
Maida…Hill
Willesden
Neasden
Fryent…Park
Bushey
Watford
The Grim Up North Bridge
Aldbury
Pitstone
Stewkley
Wing
Silverstone
Racetrack
The Tuning Fork Tree
They’re all on the line
They’re all on the line
Blakesley
Bidbury
Covent…Tree
Kingsbury
Yarnfield
Madeley
Crewe
The Metka
Protos
Facili…tee
Powering The Future
By The River
Mersey
They’re all on the line
They’re all on the line
Liverpool’s
Old Airport
Garston
Speke
Cressington
Aigburth
Sefton…Park
Madryn
Toxteth
Ringo…23
Tony’s
Pound Shop
The 99s on me
The Georgian
Quarter
Cathedral
Of St James
Hope Street
Seel Street
The Big Black…E
Chinatown
The Cavern
Matthew…Street
Powering The Future
They’re all on the line
They’re all on the line (repeat to fade)
BLACK ‘N’ RED
THE TILLERMAN IS DEAD.
RED ‘N BLACK
THE OTHERMAN IS BACK.
BLACK ‘N’ RED
IT NEEDS TO BE SAID.
RED ‘N’ BLACK
NO MORE LOOKING BACK.
NEW FOR 2024.
A 300 YEAR PLAN.
SIGN UP?
